{"product_id":"book-processing-plot-twist-at-human-speed-do-not-optimize-me-t-shirt","title":"BOOKTee: Processing  Plot Twist At Human Speed. Do not Optimize  Me T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlot twist: you didn't see that coming.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNeither did the algorithm. Because algorithms don't read books. You do. ☕📚\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is for the reader who processes life one chapter at a time — slowly, deeply, and entirely on their own terms. No optimization required. No updates pending. Just you, your tea, and a plot twist that hit different at 11pm on a Tuesday. BOOKTea is not a productivity hack. BOOKTea is a lifestyle.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThis design was created by a real human who has definitely gasped out loud at a plot twist before. No AI was involved in its conception, illustration, or storytelling. Do not optimize this message.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✦ THE SHIRT\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePrinted on the legendary \u003cstrong\u003eComfort Colors 1717\u003c\/strong\u003e — the garment-dyed heavyweight tee that feels like it's been yours forever. Relaxed unisex fit, lived-in softness, and that perfectly worn-in look right out of the box.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✦ THE FABRIC\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e100% ring-spun US cotton (6.1 oz\/yd²). Garment-dyed after construction for that soft, vintage color and texture. Tubular knit with no side seams. Double-needle stitching for long-lasting durability. Pre-shrunk relaxed fit. \u003cstrong\u003eMade in Honduras.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✦ THE PRINT\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDTG printed with a vintage-inspired, distressed aesthetic. Retro literary graphic with that worn, faded feel that only gets better with time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✦ CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low. Do not bleach. Iron inside out on low heat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✦ SIZE CHART\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0701\/4881\/7014\/files\/Size_Chart.png\" alt=\"Size Chart\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✦ FIT GUIDE\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0701\/4881\/7014\/files\/FIT_SIZE_FEMALE_f5f01702-2d8b-4559-8853-c676c73acd7a.png?v=1781308421\" alt=\"Womens Fit Guide\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0701\/4881\/7014\/files\/FIT_SIZE_MALE_23a928b7-0f8a-4ff6-9d6c-f872f0bd0ab6.png?v=1781308431\" alt=\"Mens Fit Guide\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":43863093215350,"sku":"11511646922699719134","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":43863093248118,"sku":"98929778326301475184","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ S","offer_id":43863093280886,"sku":"10575640094018195446","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":43863093313654,"sku":"29632784768884041968","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ S","offer_id":43863093346422,"sku":"98130064124331343591","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":43863093379190,"sku":"33572862104395534659","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":43863093411958,"sku":"79738054477263246399","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ S","offer_id":43863093444726,"sku":"14385540113517156486","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":43863093477494,"sku":"28067766917404101574","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":43863093510262,"sku":"20325164054329708744","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ M","offer_id":43863093543030,"sku":"59990045718435115035","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ M","offer_id":43863093575798,"sku":"14595645239907088891","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ M","offer_id":43863093608566,"sku":"19048023921301289894","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ M","offer_id":43863093641334,"sku":"32219378782779181827","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ M","offer_id":43863093674102,"sku":"28417733251599757593","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Violet \/ M","offer_id":43863093706870,"sku":"21824052407708777994","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":43863093739638,"sku":"19641841161597781851","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":43863093772406,"sku":"12087912121326627942","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ L","offer_id":43863093805174,"sku":"21390968568078128182","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ L","offer_id":43863093837942,"sku":"26274670063156179850","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ L","offer_id":43863093870710,"sku":"78999092771143879987","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":43863093903478,"sku":"89152389054978884862","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ L","offer_id":43863093936246,"sku":"24470033608846025547","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":43863093969014,"sku":"29179141464421620824","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":43863094001782,"sku":"18313000148015236940","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ XL","offer_id":43863094034550,"sku":"31211994276535497812","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ XL","offer_id":43863094067318,"sku":"13329503328986686925","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ XL","offer_id":43863094100086,"sku":"55253060315170726623","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ XL","offer_id":43863094132854,"sku":"10353883860351101775","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ XL","offer_id":43863094165622,"sku":"96362716712532242351","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":43863094198390,"sku":"21408790907896273222","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ XL","offer_id":43863094231158,"sku":"27912977443245105128","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Violet \/ XL","offer_id":43863094263926,"sku":"65507228478974528881","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":43863094296694,"sku":"29668688441667101841","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":43863094329462,"sku":"32018715816834805183","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ 2XL","offer_id":43863094362230,"sku":"17229773234867705268","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 2XL","offer_id":43863094394998,"sku":"26564976014137235977","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ 2XL","offer_id":43863094427766,"sku":"20978219679988209067","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 2XL","offer_id":43863094460534,"sku":"22953234198977758632","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":43863094493302,"sku":"25987031567942598312","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":43863094526070,"sku":"30302665294241733958","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Violet \/ 2XL","offer_id":43863094558838,"sku":"15051795276892765692","price":35.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":43863094591606,"sku":"21191691284048293534","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 3XL","offer_id":43863094624374,"sku":"11688100537897020679","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":43863094657142,"sku":"25917962195712436051","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0701\/4881\/7014\/files\/20260719145916-1f183826-9989-64d4-84b3-2ee53d5fb40a.png?v=1784473322","url":"https:\/\/imnotaiclub.com\/products\/book-processing-plot-twist-at-human-speed-do-not-optimize-me-t-shirt","provider":"ImNotAI Club","version":"1.0","type":"link"}