{"product_id":"las-vegas-calories-don-t-count-financially-perish-t-shirt","title":"Las Vegas: Calories Don’t Count\/ Financially Perish T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVegas doesn’t care about your diet. Or your budget. And honestly? Neither do you.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou didn’t fly to Vegas to make responsible choices. You came to drink, play, and financially perish in the most glamorous way possible. The calories? Irrelevant. The credit card statement? A problem for future you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eAI-generated mockups. 100% real shirt. We asked AI to plan a healthy Vegas itinerary once. It suggested a 6am jog and a salad. We deleted it immediately. So, same.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✦ THE SHIRT\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eComfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed tee in a relaxed unisex fit. Soft enough to wear while you’re crying into your complimentary breakfast the morning after.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✦ THE FABRIC\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e100% ring-spun cotton. Heavyweight, soft, and built to survive whatever Vegas throws at it. \u003cstrong\u003eMade in Honduras.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✦ THE PRINT\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDTG direct-to-garment print with a retro distressed finish — vintage-inspired, worn-in feel. Front: your Vegas mission statement. Back: your dietary philosophy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✦ CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low. Do not iron the print. 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