Las Vegas: Calories Don’t Count/ Financially Perish T-Shirt

Vegas doesn’t care about your diet. Or your budget. And honestly? Neither do you.

You didn’t fly to Vegas to make responsible choices. You came to drink, play, and financially perish in the most glamorous way possible. The calories? Irrelevant. The credit card statement? A problem for future you.

AI-generated mockups. 100% real shirt. We asked AI to plan a healthy Vegas itinerary once. It suggested a 6am jog and a salad. We deleted it immediately. So, same.

✦ THE SHIRT
Comfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed tee in a relaxed unisex fit. Soft enough to wear while you’re crying into your complimentary breakfast the morning after.

✦ THE FABRIC
100% ring-spun cotton. Heavyweight, soft, and built to survive whatever Vegas throws at it. Made in Honduras.

✦ THE PRINT
DTG direct-to-garment print with a retro distressed finish — vintage-inspired, worn-in feel. Front: your Vegas mission statement. Back: your dietary philosophy.

✦ CARE INSTRUCTIONS
Machine wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low. Do not iron the print. It’s been through enough.

✦ SIZE CHART + FIT GUIDE